When someone we care about is grieving, it’s natural to ask, “What can I do to help?” It’s a kind and well-intentioned question, but often, it puts the burden back on the person who’s already struggling. They may not have the energy to think about what they need, let alone ask for it.

Instead of asking, just act. Small, thoughtful gestures can make a huge difference without requiring them to make decisions or feel like they’re imposing. Here are some meaningful ways to step in and offer real support:

1. Take Care of the Basics

Grief can make even the simplest tasks feel overwhelming. Instead of waiting for them to ask, offer concrete help:

• Drop off a meal or send a food delivery gift card.
• Pick up groceries or household essentials.
• Handle chores like mowing the lawn, shoveling snow, or taking out the trash.

2. Be Present Without Pressure

Loneliness is common in grief, but socializing can feel exhausting. Let them know you’re there without making them feel obligated to entertain you.

• Stop by for a short visit with no expectation of conversation. Just being there can be comforting.
• Send a simple text: “Thinking of you today. No need to reply.”
• Offer to watch their kids or pets to give them a moment to breathe.

3. Mark Important Dates

Anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays can be particularly painful. Set a reminder to check in on those tough days.

• Send a thoughtful note or small gift.
• Offer to spend time with them, even if it’s just sitting together in silence.
• Remind them they don’t have to go through these days alone.

4. Keep Checking In

Support isn’t just needed in the immediate aftermath of loss; it’s a long journey. Continue reaching out in the weeks and months that follow.

• Invite them for a walk or coffee, with no pressure to talk about their grief.
• Share memories of their loved one if they seem open to it.
• Let them know they are still seen and cared for.

Grief doesn’t have a timeline, and neither should support. The most meaningful thing you can do is to show up, take action, and remind them they’re not alone.

If someone in your life is grieving, don’t wait just act. It will mean more than you know.