Article By: Dr. Charlotte Howard
I was sad and nostalgic hearing that my college professor from 25 years ago, Peter Schmitz, a professional dancer and inspiring artist, died recently. My brother, Glenn, also danced in the department with Peter around the same time and hasn’t talked to Peter since. When I texted Glenn that Peter had passed that week, he told me that he had had a dream two nights before that Peter was dying and saying goodbye. Moved by how connected we are to people who touch our lives, despite time and space, I decided to share with you one of the many things Peter taught me.
My junior year of college during an hour-long improvisational dance performance in front of a large audience, Peter and I found ourselves in a vigorous duet. I was a twenty-year-old new modern dancer and Peter was a semi-famous professional (and my professor), so it was an exciting moment for me to be creating art together with everyone watching. As we moved with momentum around each other and moved each other’s bodies quickly through space, I found myself completely out of breath and eventually unable to go on even though I loved what we were creating.
I tried to leave stage, hoping other dancers would come on and continue what we had done or take things in another direction. Each time I tried to leave, Peter dragged me back. Finally, he let me exit, panting and about to fall over! Later he asked me why I left in the middle of our engaging duet and I told him I was simply too tired to continue. He looked at me as though he couldn’t believe I hadn’t thought of this and said: “Then do the dance of tiredness!”
That lesson from Peter is for all of us as we move through our lives. We need to fully do whatever dance we are doing. We don’t have to leave stage if we aren’t what we think we should be or what others want—we just have to be ourselves and continue to engage within that reality. I could have collapsed on stage, panting dramatically, and however Peter related to me in that would have been our duet. Same with life. Start where you are and engage with that. You can’t skip over it or avoid what is true and where you find yourself. The full authentic reality is art and beauty if you are present in it and doing the dance, even if it is the dance of tiredness, or messiness, or depression.